The Road to a Loving, Lasting Marriage
It’s a Journey
We’re all on this journey called life. Sometimes we’re not sure why this journey has to be so hard! I love the metaphor that Christopher West uses called Flat Tire Syndrome: “It’s as if we’re all driving around town in cars with flat tires. The rubber is shredding off the rims; the rims are getting all dented up; and we just think this is normal. After all, everyone’s tires look this way.”
When we apply this metaphor to marriage we see so many ways we are affected by these flat tires. High rates of divorce, miserable marriages, addictions, fear of marriage, abuse, etc. We’re getting all dented up! My husband Chris and I have seen many of these dents up close. We both come from families with multiple divorces and a lot of pain and heartache in the area of marriage.
We are Redeemed
But there is good news! Jesus wants to put air in our tires!
He came to tell us: “in the beginning it was not so.” What we’re seeing as a result of our deflated tires was not God’s plan. God’s original plan for marriage was for it to be a symbol of his immense love for his Church (us!). It was to be a little taste of the heavenly banquet. Jesus came to redeem us and allow us by God’s grace to live out that original plan. The love that Chris and I share can be based on a mutual self-giving and give us a small glimpse of the infinite love and joy that’s waiting for us in eternal life. We don’t have to settle for pain and heartache. God is calling us to a better way.
Get off that Road!
Normal is fearing marriage in the first place and then regretting getting married later. Normal is getting a divorce, or maybe two or three; or maybe sticking it out for the sake of the kids. If we just cruise along in this journey we will be sideswiped from all directions by the people still trying to drive with flat tires. Let’s allow Jesus to inflate our tires and show us a better road! Let’s be intentional about building a lasting, meaningful marriage! Let’s be counter-cultural, or better yet, let’s transform the culture!
Bring Others Along
No matter where we are in the journey there are people behind us and people ahead of us.
Chris and I are in no way perfect or hold ourselves up as role models. We continue to struggle and fall and let air out of our tires. But we’re not giving up. Jesus fills our tires back up, puts us back on the road and encourages us to keep going. We want to inspire you to continue on the journey as well. For those of you a little further back we want to shine some light to make the journey a little easier. For those of you a little ahead, thanks for your light and please keep shining it so even more couples can be inspired.
Don’t Forget it’s a Spiritual Battle
Make sure you brush up on your defensive driving, because as Chris and I can testify, as soon as you make any headway on this new road the Devil will be right there to lure you off! A loving, self-sacrificial marriage that truly reflects the love of God can change entire communities and generations. The Devil isn’t going to give up easy! Don’t be surprised if he fills you with self-doubt, mocks you when you stumble and tempts you to give up. This is a spiritual battle. This journey cannot be traveled alone. Jesus is your guide; don’t lose sight of Him. Never stop letting him add some more air to your tires. God’s road is the one that leads us to true freedom, true fulfillment, true hope, true joy, and true love. May He guide us on the journey.
Join the Conversation: Share your experiences related to having “flat tires” or experiences of letting Jesus fill them back up by leaving a comment.